An Ordinary Gray Day

My personal story of getting stuck, or unstuck, connects so often with food.  I know it's pretty common.  But how food became a source of comfort and relief for me but in times of stress is part of why I get into sedentary, slow modes.  I can't deny that one of the most comforting things for me is eating.  That chip, that fry, the feeling of that bite. So getting unstuck means unpacking that, owning it, and in some cases redirecting it to other things. Two times in my life I have lost substantial amounts of weight.  After freshman year of college I lost about 15 lbs, that typical freshman 15.  I was interning at church and the treadmill was right there so I ran almost every day I worked.  I also switched from Coke to Diet Coke which no doubt helped.  Freshman year of college was when I started really drinking soda a lot, every day.  But I feel like I always loved soda and would have had more if available growing up.  When it was up to me...

The first posting of course comes on an extraordinary, blue, chilly, February day.  I started blogging 19  (shhh) years ago in college and like so many things in my life it just petered out over time.  The times when I have recorded my thoughts most consistently are in times of trouble, and so I feel compelled to come back to the word now.  When I think about why I write, I used to think it was so I could remember things.  As a young person I had an extreme fear of forgetting.  In my happiest, greatest moments I would feel compelled to write afterwards, to record as closely as possible the moments and memories and feelings of the time. And so I wrote about... the mission trips with church in paper, and then later in the blog about college life and dating life, studying abroad and exploring, marrying and moving and building my life.  Something about growing up starts to seem mundane.  Days start to look more similar.  Go to work, come home....